Descriptions of Mismanager Positions

Generally rather thankless, unpaid jobs, helping keep the wheels from coming off


Grand Master/Grand Mattress (GM)

The pack is led (or misled) by the Grand Master or Grand Mattress (aka GM), in line with the general tradition of minimum organization. However, this is a facade, as there is indeed much that has to be organized when it comes to reining in weekly chaos and planning special events. Most of this is accomplished by delegating to the other Mismanagement officers, however the GM stands in as substitute or back up for the duties of all the other positions when needed.  A successful GM makes these chores seem transparent to the pack, but it is much work nevertheless. The GM calls periodic meetings and bails the hash out of trouble at times. 

Beer Meister (BM)

This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. (S)He keeps constant vigilance to find the best deals available for beer, always has coolers in the trunk of his car, cases of beer in his garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get a full refund on the deposit. Also makes sure that vitamin J (junk food/chips) is available after trail. Coordinates with Hares that need coolers for beer checks.

Hare Raiser

The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and that the start location is known to the On-Sec well in advance of hash day for publicity purposes.  (S)He gets 'volunteers' to hare based on experience, matching new hares with a more experienced one. Handles any trail questions from Hares. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can't find anyone else to do it - and that means a pickup hash.  Each hasher is expected to set a hash periodically. Trails should change geographical locations regularly to avoid overlapping (crossing) previous trails.

Hare/s

Weekly volunteer. She/he chooses well-thought-out locations for start, trail, beer check, religion, and on-on-on. Cums prepared to announce the trail's start location at religion the hash before. Writes up a trail announcement with trail details and submits it to On-Sec well before Saturday. Buys flour and brings something to carry it in to lay trail. Buys water and other fluids for beer check and liquor/bum wine check. Always cums prepared to be lambasted for their shitty trail! 

On-Sec

This position is a masochist's dream. (S)he struggles to pull information from Hares and Hare Raiser about trail start, decipher the Hash Cash's hand writing as to who attended, takes notes at mismanagement meetings,  all to keep the hash members somewhat informed. (S)he is the one who posts/promotes upcuming hashes and events, maintains Facebook pages (public & pricate), WebSite, the hash membership data base, Google groups & email and prints the business cards. 

Hash Cash

At the start of each hash collects the fees from all, takes down each name (provides that information to the On-Sec), and provides reimbursement for the food or refreshments used at the hash. Hash Cash is responsible for protecting the Hash's assets and general accounting of the funds.  This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and watch out for late-comers trying to dodge the fee.

Religious Advisor (RA)

Keeper of the HashShit. Enforcer of the traditions.  (S)He runs circle once a trail has been completed. They are responsible for leading us in song, managing the chaos that is naming, as well as making sure that violators of hash traditions are punished with down-downs. It is best to avoid eye contact with them during circle. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)he is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies as a good story trumps the truth. When in the circle, the RA is always right, even when wrong.

Haberdasher

This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

Hash Bash

When it is time for an event this is the person that figures it out. They get a lot of support from other mismanagers. (S)He finds locations for events, figures out how to feed the masses of hashers on the cheap, works with the Haberdashers about schwag, and calculates how much beer the BM should buy.

Hash Flash

The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film - or at the very least a group photo. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to show up, take pictures, and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album.

Hash Scribe

The Hash Scribe does the write-up of each r*n and disseminates said Hash Trash. There are several good reasons to become scribe. The most important is that you get to write down anything dumb and stupid that your fellow hashers have done on trail, while avoiding writing about all the dumb and stupid things you have done on trail.

Song Meister

This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations.